Lies
by Vanadium23
Summary: "I love you, Ritsuka." The velvety voice whispered. Warm breath on my clean skin.    I hate it. I hate it so much.


Hi! I don't really care for soubi-NOT because I hate him…but because of his confusion with his emotions for Ritsuka and Seimei. So I can't help but dislike him for hurting and betraying little Ritsuka. T^T

_*disclaimer: I don't own loveless._

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"I love you, Ritsuka." The velvety voice whispered. Warm breath on my clean skin.

_I hate it. I hate it so much.

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_**Love can sometimes be magic. But magic can sometimes… just be an illusion. **__- Javan

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_

"I love you Ritsuka." His chapped lips grazed my right ear- the human one.

It hurts. There's a pain in my chest…it feels so heavy…am I sad?…why?

_Why am I sad, Soubi?_

"Ritsuka… I love you." No. They're lies.

They hurt because they're not true. Nothing hurts more than a lie you want to believe in. Nothing.

I'd take mom's abuse any day, rather than hear those words. But…

"Ritsuka…" _Say them_. Please… I need to hear them.

I think about those three syllables constantly. Why? Why do I always think about you?

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_**I hate to see the one I love happy with somebody, but I surely hate it more to see the one I love unhappy with me...

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**_

"… I love you."

Do you? Do you love me Soubi? …or…_or do you love Seimei?_

"Why?" My voice cracked. His violet eyes widened slightly. A slight frown forming on his precious face-creases finding themselves in his forehead.

"Why, what? Ritsuka?"

My eyes burned as they watered.

"Why do you love me?"

-_Because I am told to_.

The words weren't said…but I knew they were there.

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_**When It's clear that you don't feel the same way for me... the problem is that as much as I can't force you to love me, I can't force myself to stop loving you.

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**_

"Ritsuka, come here." No. I won't! I don't love you, I don't!

"Ritsuka…" I crawled over to his lap.

_I still hate you._

"Is something bothering you?" He questioned, wrapping his large arms around me.

_I hate you for making me love you. And the fact that you don't love me back_…that's what's wrong.

I parted my mouth. "I….I…." I tried. I can say I tried with that, right? I couldn't voice my heart… I find it funny how the organs that affect the most of your daily and however long life can never utter the words they need to. The heart…is full of many emotions-ruled by our brains. But, neither can speak….I'm almost glad mine can't-_they'd be far too noisy_.

They'd tell you that my body aches from all the times I cry in the middle of the night, and that they're tired of having to endure that pain.

They'd say that they can't take how many sleepless nights they've had with me. My lungs would tell you how they burn from all my quick intakes of breaths…once again….from crying. They're on fire-the flames licking every minute.

My heart would only be able to whisper-because it's been far to over worked to do much more- the agony it's had to suffer.

I cannot cry anymore, for they're any more tears left to waste on you, Soubi.

This torture I can no longer withstand. Why can I hate someone I love so much… just because they have more of your attention than me? _Seimei…_

"N-nothing! Nothing's wrong! Go away, Soubi! I told you to leave so long ago!" His expression fell.

"Leave!" I screamed. "You have your own home! Go there!" Tears fell down my face. I could barely see there were so many. My throat hurt from screeching.

He got to his feet and slid his coat on, no words uttered. Silence.

I felt my chest heave as I sobbed.

"Ritsuka, are you positive there's nothing wr-"

"GO!" I knelt to the floor, holding myself to attempt to stop the shaking. "…just…go…"

His back turned as he left-through the window of course.

And I was left along to wail again-I thought I was all out of tears…I guess not.

I'm in my darkness…another night in the violent gloom of my conscience.

_Soubi…help me.

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_**A million words would not bring you back, I know because I tried, neither would a million tears, I know because I cried.

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_**end. reviews!:D**_


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